Friday, July 9, 2010

Why I am convinced I need a seperate "label" for hospitals.

So, last week when Tara was admitted, I realized that I did not have a "label" for just hospitals. I had one for Parks and Hospitals (funny, not sure what that was all about, but I will need to re-read that when I am not exhausted). So as of today, I will make a new label...for just hospitals. Why not...Tara after all has had LOTS of hospital trips. We also LOVE Huntington, so I might want to say something about them...I would label those "hospital". Tonight's post. I will label hospital... Why, because I spend the better part of today in the hospital.
Now, onto the story....or the saga, as life continues, and I swear my life will be on an ABC comedy show at some point.
So today around 1ish pm. As I am dealing with a sick little boy again (Jake, just can't seem to kick the virus Tara had), Elijah comes down from his room when he was "cleaning"...and we had a conversation that looked like this...:
Elijah: "hey mom, there were some bee bees in my bed last night, and I think one went into my ear."
Mean mom: "bee bees don't just go into your ear when you are sleeping, is there something else that you need to tell me?"
Elijah: "geesh mom, why don't you EVER believe me when I tell you something" (said with a total attitude, as he is 12 and knows EVERYTHING already, you know, fyi just in case you didn't know)
Mean Mom: "well, if there is something you would need to tell me, I would prefer you tell me now before I find out later".
Elijah: "mom, I told you I think it just went in there when I was sleeping"
think is now the key word that I hear, as I have heard this "saying" before when he was lying...
Mean Mom: "Elijah, I just want to remind you what happened to liars in bible times, and honey if I find out you are lying, I will not be opposed to those types of punishments."
as we walk over to my bible, as I am not totally sure what happened to liars, but I am going to find out!! (which is also why I labeled myself mean mom...)
Elijah: "fine, I stuck a bee bee in my ear"
Mean Mom: WHAT!!!
Elijah: "well, I thought I could get it out, but when I stuck my finger in my ear to get it out, I couldn't grab it."
Mean Mom: "let me see"
as we walk over to the kitchen to get my flashlight...and I see sure enough, a small green bee bee...shoved into his ear.
Mean Mom: "yes, there is a bee bee in there, call your Dad"
as at this point, I went to go to the wonder, and talk about my sons stupidity with God, myself, and the spider I found in the tub. Probably not the brightest move, but it worked.
So I talked to Jim. Told him how far it was shoved in there, and let him know I would be taking Elijah into the Doctors when they opened back up again at 2.
Mean Mom: "Elijah, were are going into the doctors, we are leaving in half an hour, DO NOT touch your ear. Leave it alone. The doctor will see if they can get it out. Put your hands on your head and leave them there."
Elijah: "GEEZ, I don't know why you need to treat me like a baby"
again, the spider and I had a chat....
when I was finished chatting with the spider I came out of the bathroom to find Elijah's finger IN his ear with his sister "holding" his ear out.
Mean Mom: "ELIJAH does DO NOT touch your ear mean anything to you?
Elijah: "I am not touching my ear, Tori is touching my ear, I am touching the bee bee".
I believe this is when my mind went crazy and I starting thinking of all of those stories of children being locked in basements, and me thinking how horrible those parents were, but me also wishing so desperately that at this exact moment, how I wish we had a basement.
Don't call CPS...we don't have a basement.
Needless to say, we left for the doctors early....
When they got there they looked at it. Said, "wow, that's impacted, he must have really shoved it in there" as he chuckled just a bit.
Mean Mom: "I know Kyle (there only child and 2) is cute and cuddly right now, but I just wanted to let you know, that in 10 years, this situation might not be as funny to you."
He then said "Ms. Carlson, you should get your PA (Physicians Assistant). It would save you a lot of money"
I I am fairly sure that my co-pays alone pretty much keep those office doors open. But alas, I am nice like that, (and don't have time to go to school) so I choose to clothe his child, and pay for his mortgage.
Dr: "well, do I even need to tell you whats next Ms. Carlson"
Mean Mom: "Huntington?"
Dr: "see, you should get your PA"
Mean Mom: "yup, can you also call and get a referral for an ENT just in case the ER can't get it out"
Dr: "when you get your PA I will hire you here"
Mean Mom: "no need to pay me, just give me back all my co-pays"
Dr: "well, I can't do that all upfront, might need to work here for a few years to earn them back"
$35 co-pay 4 kids...I might need to work there for life... :)
So off to Huntington...
They sent us to the "fast track" area. I was sooooo excited. I had heard of this "fast track" rumors I was convinced...or like a mirage, you see it, but can never get to it. Rumor has it, you can get in and our of the treatment area in 20 minutes...I was excited...So it was our turn, my mirage was coming true!
The nurse that Tara had last week saw me...she greeted me with a hug (thats not bad right?) she was really great last week...Vanessa. She then told the "fast track" doc..who is actually a PA (which I found funny) "treat them good, they are my friends".
so he came in the room with us...right delay at all!! Looked in Elijah's ear, and said, "well, I hope I can flush it out, if not I will try to "pull" it out, and if all else fails I will suck it out".
Well, in short...He could not flush it out.
He could not pull it out.
All else failed, and he tried to suck it out.
as it turns out there was a 4th option he did not mention.
We left the ER fast track mirage was gone. We were put into a "normal" room. Our 20 minutes were up. They called the ENT. Turns out she did not want to come out on a Friday night for a 12 year old with a bee bee in his ear.
We left the ER...about 2 hours after we left the fast track area.
We left the ER with a bee bee in Elijah's ear. His right ear.
We see the ENT Monday am at 9 am. I am not sure what she is going to do. There is talk about "anaesthesia" and "surgical". We got started on antibiotics today. For a few reasons. 1. not sure how clean that bee bee was... and 2. again with the talk of "surgery" and things. 3. there was a lot of other things "shoved" into his ear today... 4. the flushing most likely got water stuck behind the bee bee.
So, with the bee bee in there, he can't hear from his right ear...Great. Just another reason why he wont listen to me.


  1. OH my goodness! Unbelievable - we have 3 boys - does that mean objects in ears are definitely in our future???!!! =0)
    Sounds like you handled it well - you're an amazing mom!

  2. holy cow!!
    a bee bee pellet?! you sure do have your hands full my friend. =)
    and yes, you did handle it well and you are an AMAZING mom.
    you always make me laugh =)
    keep us posted!

  3. You never cease to amaze me!!! You are totally hilarious and your sense of humor is unbelievable. You definitely made me laugh so hard today!!! Thanks! You may not know who reads your blog, but you certainly inspire a lot of people that's for sure! Keep up the AMAZING work!!!