This past month has been hard. Really hard. Since I feel I am able to share some of my feelings on here with you...In a nutshell, here it is. It down right sucked. I was feeling empty, lost, and could not find my way. I was having trouble sleeping (not eating...that I did just fine), doing my daily devotionals, daily chores, and even taking care of my kids. Unless you call throwing a piece of cheese and sandwich meat at them for lunch...and dinner. I knew I was headed down a road, that could spiral down quickly if I did not snap myself out of it. The road of depression. After all, I lost my Job. My responsibility to be a house wife. Not to brag or anything, but I was a rockin' house wife to Jim. I supported him in his wants and dreams, encouraged him, loved him, fed him well, and gave him his wants and desires...even if I had a head ache. Then 4 weeks ago, I lost my job. My job I was sooooo good at. It hurt, a lot. I was reading my friend Caz's blog the other day, and it hit me. I did not loose my job, my job just went to another country. I still need to do all of those things, just in other ways now. I still need to love, support and encourage my amazing husband that God gave to me. Its an honor every day I look down at my wedding ring, and remember my amazing husband we is working so hard to support our family, who I am sure misses us 5 times more than we miss him. While I am here, I have my 4 kids to love and hug in the sad times, he has nobody.
It is a high honor for a wife to be chosen from among all womankind. To be the wife of a Godly man....Great power is placed in her hands. Will she wear her crown beneficially? Will she fill her realm with beauty and blessings? Or will she fail in her holy trust? Only her married life can be the answer.
Jim Dear, I love you, and love what you do for us. You are an amazing husband, and an amazing dad. Every day I consider it an honor to be loved by you, that you would have, and choose me to be your wife.
I love you honey.
Showing posts with label Jim. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jim. Show all posts
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
This might be a party pooper
Sorry for the lack of posts. Its not that I don't have anything to say that isn't blog worthy, its completely blog worthy. But my amazing mom always said "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all". I have been in a little funk for the last week, had nothing nice to say. So you ask what about the 2 weeks before that? Well, I soaked up every last minute of Jim I could...I should back up.
Jim came home from Qatar on Sept 1oth. The day before we had Tara's 3rd birthday party (maybe I will write about that later...) When he came home, we new it was going to be his last time home for a bit....a long bit. Jim and I have prayerfully decided for him to move to Qatar for the next 2 years. While we both were in agreement over this, It has not been easy since he has been gone. Jim is my best friend, my soul mate, my love. It hurts, and I am sad everyday he is gone. I miss him like a crazy person, yet I know this is a good thing, and he needs to be there. Right now is not the right time for us to go there as a family. I am not saying not ever, just not now. So for the 2 weeks from Sept 10th I soaked up every minute of him. Got my "love tank" full. We went on about 2-3 dates every week, cozied up in bed when the kids were at school, played hookie from work, and enjoyed each other. Now, I might be going thru with drawls! :) So this last week has been incredibly hard. I need to find a rhythm. Right now I just feel like I am walking in a fog. It will get easier, I will be able to manage, I will be OK, I will find a rhythm. Right now, I just need to breathe. I have a song that a friend of ours wrote from church. It says "Never alone, you are always here right by my side, I have nothing to fear, only you have made me worthy". He has made me worthy, for such a time as this.
Jim came home from Qatar on Sept 1oth. The day before we had Tara's 3rd birthday party (maybe I will write about that later...) When he came home, we new it was going to be his last time home for a bit....a long bit. Jim and I have prayerfully decided for him to move to Qatar for the next 2 years. While we both were in agreement over this, It has not been easy since he has been gone. Jim is my best friend, my soul mate, my love. It hurts, and I am sad everyday he is gone. I miss him like a crazy person, yet I know this is a good thing, and he needs to be there. Right now is not the right time for us to go there as a family. I am not saying not ever, just not now. So for the 2 weeks from Sept 10th I soaked up every minute of him. Got my "love tank" full. We went on about 2-3 dates every week, cozied up in bed when the kids were at school, played hookie from work, and enjoyed each other. Now, I might be going thru with drawls! :) So this last week has been incredibly hard. I need to find a rhythm. Right now I just feel like I am walking in a fog. It will get easier, I will be able to manage, I will be OK, I will find a rhythm. Right now, I just need to breathe. I have a song that a friend of ours wrote from church. It says "Never alone, you are always here right by my side, I have nothing to fear, only you have made me worthy". He has made me worthy, for such a time as this.
Monday, September 6, 2010
3 years old, and 2 years.
Today my Baby turned 3. Its been an emotional day. So many things. Its my blog so I will tell you want I want, and keep in what I want as well. I always have a hard time with Tara's birthdays. There are emotional to say the least. On top of all that, Jim is in Qatar again. He comes home again on Friday, but, then leaves again shortly after that. We as a family have decided for him to move there to Qatar for the next 2 years. We obviously have not come to that decision lightly, as my husband, my kids dad will be away for 2 years. We have talked a little of "us" moving there. There is A LOT to think about that. The main factor would be that if Cardiology does not give us the approval that it would not even be considered. The other factor is school. There is an American Private school there (and I hate to say this, but they would most likely receive a better education there....). but taking a Junior Higher out of school, and away from his friends for 2 years seems like it can't be a good thing...right? Also my family. My mom, sisters (their husbands), brother (his wife), My nephews, my nieces, my Tyler and Sarah (even though there are technically niece and nephew I think of them more as my kids, and I am fairly sure my sister will not give them up for the next 2 years...). Our house, our belongings, our dog (well, he would go right?), my car, Jim's car, our business here, our Church, our friends, the fact I have made a commitment to the Internship for the next 1 year. Like I said, its been an emotional day. So glimpse there you go. I need to stop crying now, because I am fairly sure this many tears could most likely fry my computer.
So baby Happy Birthday, you amaze and inspire me. I am honored and blessed every time you call me mommy, that God would choose me to be your mom, its a privilege.
Oh, and because I am already emotional, today also marks the day of Regional Center not providing any more services for her. So Miss Alicia, and Miss Nancy, thank you so much for taking the time to love on our baby. Its been such a delight to see her grow with us over these last 2 1/2 years.
Seriously I am a wreck....
So baby Happy Birthday, you amaze and inspire me. I am honored and blessed every time you call me mommy, that God would choose me to be your mom, its a privilege.
Oh, and because I am already emotional, today also marks the day of Regional Center not providing any more services for her. So Miss Alicia, and Miss Nancy, thank you so much for taking the time to love on our baby. Its been such a delight to see her grow with us over these last 2 1/2 years.
Seriously I am a wreck....
Sunday, June 20, 2010
John 3:17 (and rambling trying to fit 2 posts into 1)
I love when something you have read, or heard strikes you with a new accord, just as you need it. Today, it was done for me yet again. The verse John 3:16, everyone knows it...Say it with me now "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life". Good one. I like it, I love that my kids know that verse, as its one Christians should know. However, can anyone tell me what John 3:17 says? I tell you, I don't know if I have ever really looked at it, when referencing John 3:16 in the bible, I rarely pull it up...I know it. So today in my few minutes that I took for myself before I took my nap (because my kids gave me the best fathers day present ever by taking a 2 1/2 hour nap!) I read it, before, and after. I tell you, I have no idea why this verse is not something I have looked at or seen before, I don't know why its not written on my walls, or etched into my mirror in my bathroom. It might just be my new favorite!
John 3:17 MSG
God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.
Grace, its good. Peace, its lovely. Mercy, its enduring. Help, its lifesaving. He came to help. Never did he come to accuse me (or you) about how bad we were before we accepted him as our only hearts desire. He came to help. I like help.
This week has been a challenge to say the least. *footnote, never blog and make dinner, I just burned Mac n Cheese...it is possible* I have been busy you know with my full time job. Raising 4 children, one with special needs. *another footnote, I am getting much better as using the term special needs, before I used to be almost embarrassed, now, it rolls of my tongue, as she is special, incredibly special* (and now another footnote, that is where I saved my post on Sunday as I needed to take Tara to the ER....more on that near the end of this post.) I have also been working for Jim this past week. So with my 4 kids, I have also managed the job site (on site). Not the easiest task (however I must say, I was probably the cutest supervisor ever in my heels swinging a hammer).
With Jim gone, I needed to step up where needed, HE helped. I was able to get thru past week, not on my own, but with help, from HIM. He came to help, and put MY world right again. Jim is home now, and while I (we) am still in the trenches with work as we are trying to play catch up on this past week together (as a team, I so love it), it felt so good, to know during the last 9 days, I was not alone, that HE was there to help me, every step of the way. I worked with Jim again on Monday, and Tuesday, but by today, my kids needed me, my house needed me, the laundry definately needed me!
Today, it was good to be home, its where I belong, however, I will still do what ever it takes to help my husband, we make a good team, and while catching some late dinner yesterday (seriously like 730pm) and we were sitting across from each other, he smiled at me, thanked me for all I had done the past week, and said "I like you coming to work with me, its like we are dating again, except I get to sleep with you at the end of the night". Yup, love you to honey!
So there you have it, I am now a working mama!
This week puts me into another busy week. My sister and her husband (Chris and Lolo) got this AMAZING trip given to them, so I have my niece and nephew for the next week (Tyler and Sarah).
So onto Tara now, and why the trip to the ER. On Sunday (the day I started this post...) Tara and Tori both woke with a bit of a rash, not itchy, but a rash. Didn't think to much about it, (I worked til 12:30 am so my sister (Lolo) had the kids til then). By Sunday night, the kids were starting to get itchy, I tried some hydro cortisone, some Calmoseptine, wasn't working...I gave Tori some benadryl, it worked, stopped within half hour, Tara (because of her heart) CAN NOT have any antihistamines, so, no benadryl. She was very itchy...VERY VERY itchy, like itchy enough that she scratched herself til she was bleeding. So I called her pediatrician, maybe she had a good suggestion. She didn't...she said go to Urgent Care, she might need a steroid shot. So we took her, not open...closed early on Sunday! So I called her ped again, and she said go to the ER. Lovely. 4 hours later, after seeing the doctor, we left with an ice pack...yup, doctors advice, put ice on it. $100 for the ER visit, for the doctor to tell me to put ice on it. So frustrating. I also have to watch her "scratches" and they could be a source of infection because she has scratched it so much. Thanks. Well, the good news is, she was so exhausted, and in her footy jammies, she slept good all night. Both the girls woke up not itchy, Tori's rash was gone, Tara's was still there a bit, but mostly because she scratched it so much. So we are better. I am not sure how I feel about any of that night. Frustrated, yes. Curious, of course. Overwhelmed, a bit. I just don't understand. The ice helped a bit, at least got her to fall asleep, why was that advice not given to me over the phone to save me $100. Our ped is most likely OVER concerned over Tara (she has been with her since the beginning) and the ER doc was so Ho Hum it wasn't even funny. So like I said, not sure how to feel, but frankly didn't have time to think about it to much, as Monday I was already up and ready to pick Jim up from the airport, and start the work day with him. How do other heart mamas go about it with no benadryl? Any other suggestions?
So there we have it, 2 post in 1, so sorry that I lost most of you, but I couldn't figure out where to stop the other, and where to start the next!
John 3:17 MSG
God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.
Grace, its good. Peace, its lovely. Mercy, its enduring. Help, its lifesaving. He came to help. Never did he come to accuse me (or you) about how bad we were before we accepted him as our only hearts desire. He came to help. I like help.
This week has been a challenge to say the least. *footnote, never blog and make dinner, I just burned Mac n Cheese...it is possible* I have been busy you know with my full time job. Raising 4 children, one with special needs. *another footnote, I am getting much better as using the term special needs, before I used to be almost embarrassed, now, it rolls of my tongue, as she is special, incredibly special* (and now another footnote, that is where I saved my post on Sunday as I needed to take Tara to the ER....more on that near the end of this post.) I have also been working for Jim this past week. So with my 4 kids, I have also managed the job site (on site). Not the easiest task (however I must say, I was probably the cutest supervisor ever in my heels swinging a hammer).
With Jim gone, I needed to step up where needed, HE helped. I was able to get thru past week, not on my own, but with help, from HIM. He came to help, and put MY world right again. Jim is home now, and while I (we) am still in the trenches with work as we are trying to play catch up on this past week together (as a team, I so love it), it felt so good, to know during the last 9 days, I was not alone, that HE was there to help me, every step of the way. I worked with Jim again on Monday, and Tuesday, but by today, my kids needed me, my house needed me, the laundry definately needed me!
Today, it was good to be home, its where I belong, however, I will still do what ever it takes to help my husband, we make a good team, and while catching some late dinner yesterday (seriously like 730pm) and we were sitting across from each other, he smiled at me, thanked me for all I had done the past week, and said "I like you coming to work with me, its like we are dating again, except I get to sleep with you at the end of the night". Yup, love you to honey!
So there you have it, I am now a working mama!
This week puts me into another busy week. My sister and her husband (Chris and Lolo) got this AMAZING trip given to them, so I have my niece and nephew for the next week (Tyler and Sarah).
So onto Tara now, and why the trip to the ER. On Sunday (the day I started this post...) Tara and Tori both woke with a bit of a rash, not itchy, but a rash. Didn't think to much about it, (I worked til 12:30 am so my sister (Lolo) had the kids til then). By Sunday night, the kids were starting to get itchy, I tried some hydro cortisone, some Calmoseptine, wasn't working...I gave Tori some benadryl, it worked, stopped within half hour, Tara (because of her heart) CAN NOT have any antihistamines, so, no benadryl. She was very itchy...VERY VERY itchy, like itchy enough that she scratched herself til she was bleeding. So I called her pediatrician, maybe she had a good suggestion. She didn't...she said go to Urgent Care, she might need a steroid shot. So we took her, not open...closed early on Sunday! So I called her ped again, and she said go to the ER. Lovely. 4 hours later, after seeing the doctor, we left with an ice pack...yup, doctors advice, put ice on it. $100 for the ER visit, for the doctor to tell me to put ice on it. So frustrating. I also have to watch her "scratches" and they could be a source of infection because she has scratched it so much. Thanks. Well, the good news is, she was so exhausted, and in her footy jammies, she slept good all night. Both the girls woke up not itchy, Tori's rash was gone, Tara's was still there a bit, but mostly because she scratched it so much. So we are better. I am not sure how I feel about any of that night. Frustrated, yes. Curious, of course. Overwhelmed, a bit. I just don't understand. The ice helped a bit, at least got her to fall asleep, why was that advice not given to me over the phone to save me $100. Our ped is most likely OVER concerned over Tara (she has been with her since the beginning) and the ER doc was so Ho Hum it wasn't even funny. So like I said, not sure how to feel, but frankly didn't have time to think about it to much, as Monday I was already up and ready to pick Jim up from the airport, and start the work day with him. How do other heart mamas go about it with no benadryl? Any other suggestions?
So there we have it, 2 post in 1, so sorry that I lost most of you, but I couldn't figure out where to stop the other, and where to start the next!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Qatar
Jim left for Qatar today. I already miss him! :) Please keep him in prayer for the next week plus for safety, as well as favor for our business.
Also please keep me in prayer, as I am dealing with all the kids and the things that go along with 4 kids on my own this week.
I will update more later this week. Thanks for your prayers!
Love you honey, hurry home!!
Also please keep me in prayer, as I am dealing with all the kids and the things that go along with 4 kids on my own this week.
I will update more later this week. Thanks for your prayers!
Love you honey, hurry home!!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Waffle Morning
Every once in a while Jim takes the morning off, and does a Waffle morning. Its the kids favorite time, (and mine too) Jim cooks waffles for everyone (from scratch not bisquick), and I am just in charge of making coffee (handled). The kids get soooo excited and pull up chairs to the counter and "help" dad. And of course by "help" I mean taste test! 
yes folks, he is THAT good. He works, eats, and makes waffles.
He is actually talking to one of his clients in this one. Real work saying "yeah, I am running a bit late, I wasn't getting out of the house with out making waffles for the kids this am".
the 4 munchkins ready to "help".
Jake had to go pee, but I still loved this picture!
Tori is soooo very excited. Waffle days are usually her idea...and by idea I mean she says "dad, remember that your the best dad ever and you make waffles better then anyone?" "yes Tori thanks" "can you do that again so I can remember?" She suckers him in every time!
Jake a bit to busy eating to actually smile (yes folks, he did get dressed during the process)
Tara thinking she was a big girl with a fork, and by big girl I mean hold the fork in your right hand and eat waffles with your left.
yes folks, he is THAT good. He works, eats, and makes waffles.
He is actually talking to one of his clients in this one. Real work saying "yeah, I am running a bit late, I wasn't getting out of the house with out making waffles for the kids this am".
the 4 munchkins ready to "help".
Jake had to go pee, but I still loved this picture!
Tori is soooo very excited. Waffle days are usually her idea...and by idea I mean she says "dad, remember that your the best dad ever and you make waffles better then anyone?" "yes Tori thanks" "can you do that again so I can remember?" She suckers him in every time!
Jake a bit to busy eating to actually smile (yes folks, he did get dressed during the process)
Tara thinking she was a big girl with a fork, and by big girl I mean hold the fork in your right hand and eat waffles with your left.
Friday, February 26, 2010
10 years
10 years ago today, I married my best friend, the man of my dream, a hunk a hunk of burnin' love. My Jim dear. So for todays post in honor of 10 years, I will list 10 things I love about my husband.
10. he's hot.
9. he is the most generous man I have EVER met. He will literally give you the shirt off his back.
8. He lets me stay home with the kids, and be a mom and a wife, and doesn't complain if dinner isn't made and on the table when he gets home...instead, he feels my pain, and orders pizza.
7. he is funny. Not just funny ha ha, but funny make you pee your pants funny.
6. God is his priority. We come a pretty close second, but God is first, I love that.
5. he is hot...I know I already said it, but have you seen him? Its worth 2 points....
4. he works hard, very hard. He works hard, so I can be the best mom I can be at home with my munchkins.
3. He is a great dad, the kids love him, and he loves them. His is the dad that all the kids want, you know the one who ~ahem~ buys really expensive RC cars for the boys for Christmas even though Christmas shopping is done....
2. He loves me completely, and fully. With all my faults, I am still the one he wants to come home to, and for that I am glad, because truth be told I am waiting for him with open arms!
1. When I look into his eyes at night after a long day, not only do I see our 4 amazing children, but I see Jesus in his eyes.
I love you honey, and can't wait to see what the next 10 holds...and the next 10...and the next 10...and the next 10...and the next 10...you get the point!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)