Hitting a Wall

On Sunday when I was praying for a couple at church I had a very clear picture in my head, that I was able to relate to their situation, when I sit back now, I can so relate it to my situation as well. This is a picture of the Western Wall in Israel. Its the exterior wall (aka the Wailing Wall), to the Temple Mount. People go their with their requests to God. There is tiny little pieces of paper all over the place, where people actually write their requests on a piece of paper and put it inside of the cracks and crevices of the wall.
Sometimes we feel like we are on the outside. We come to the wall, where we give our requests to God, Sometimes we feel like the "wall" is just that though, a wall. We feel like we can't get in, We lean into the wall, we pray to the wall, we weep at the wall, we surrender all at the wall, but just can't get inside. However, then something shifts, whether it be a spiritual shift, or an emotional shift, then all of a sudden you are on the inside. We feel like we can finally make it past a through a situation. I have felt this so many times. So many times in my life, and in my prayer life I feel like I hit a wall. That I can't make it anymore, then the shift happens, and you do. You make it through, you are on the inside. The inside doesn't always look so pretty inside though. The beauty that you were waiting for just seems like a long empty hallway. Continue to press on, your beauty will come, God doesn't promise you any less.
I encourage you today if feel like you are at a "Wall" continue to press on, you will make it through, Eventually, your wall will open up to the beauty that is just on the other side.

Tour of the Inside of the Western Wall, that would open up to the beauty of the Temple.

Israel

Not the best picture, but one of my favorite spots, so had to include it. On a boat in the middle of the Sea of Galilee...Sureal to say the least.

Jim and I heading into the Upper Room (Where the last supper was at)

Jim and I at the Western Wall, otherwise known as the Wailing Wall (the wall outside of the Temple Mount)

Looking over the Mt. of Olives Last month I had the most incredible opportunity that I can't wait to share all 5 of you who read my blog. Even though my mom already knows...So all 4 of you.

I had the opportunity to go to Israel. The pastors of our church were taking a team, and I jumped on that chance. Jim met us there...He lives in the Middle East, so it made it much easier for him. No Jet Lag, no 16 hour flight, just a quick hop skip and a jump for him...lucky. As you can see by the pictures we had an incredible time. I took over 1,000 pictures, so I can't even show you the highlights. I am sure a few of these photos will be showing up in other posts. Oh, and because I just wanted to mention how incredibly awesome this trip was, The trip was also combined onto Jack Hayfords trip. You know, sureal. In Isreal, where Jesus walked, lived, performed miracles, died, and rose again, with Jack Hayford. Sureal...

Kids might get the best of you...

Sorry, I have been a really incredible blog slacker, however I have lots to catch up on. I will do it one at a time. Funny stuff first. You know, funny now, a month later.
So about a month ago, just before I left for Israel, I was a bit on the busy side, packing, and getting everything ready. I went upstairs to deal with a few things, put laundry away, and fun things like that. I can't remember forsure, but I might have even tried to use the bathroom. The 2 middle kids, Jake and Tori were playing, Tara was upstairs with me. They were playing so good, laughing, and having a really good time, at one point I even heard them say "slide down on this" just as I walked by to the girls room to see them slide down the stairs on a jacket. They were having fun, nobody was crying, and nobody was bleeding. Half the battle in this house. Lots of laughing, in fact, I even remember sitting on the bed at one moment and saying "I should remember this moment", they were having a great time. I like those moments. I left them for about 15 minutes is my best guess. Hearing them laugh the entire time. I then walked by the stairs just in time to see Jake's naked butt up in the air sliding down the stairs. I didn't think to much about it, but saw the naked butt. I then went into the closet to grab more hangers and pondered a brief moment...did I just see that? I wonder if Tori is naked too? I wonder if the "slippery jacket" wasn't working with clothes on? Maybe I should go check again. Sure enough, Tori was naked too, and is that water in her hair? What is that that that Tori is rubbing on Jake to slide down easier? Cooking Oil. Yup, you guessed it. My darling 2 children, took this moment to pour cooking oil on themselves to slide down the "slippery slide" a bit easier. Thanks kids.
Yup, these are the moments you will remember...
P.S. Big shout out to my friend Jerry who dropped everything, and was there in about 20 minutes to steam clean the stairs, and leave no trace of oil on the carpet.
P.P.S. Dawn dish detergent really does break down oil....Even in 5 year old's hair.

betterish plus other stuff

Yes, that is a word, I just made it up, but I am fairly sure it will be in urban dictionary. Right next to taranormal.
So just as the title suggested Tara is getting betterish. Doing really great in the day time, and just a few spats a week at night. When she starts coughing, its really hard to stop. So I feel like I have a newborn again, I also look like I have a newborn again. The dark circles are not flattering.
Jim is on a "gone" stint right now. He is gone til April. Suck. In Feb I celebrate my birthday, Valentines day, Jakes birthday, and my 11 year wedding anniversary....alone. Suck. I will see him in March, we are going to Israel together. I am excited. Wish my kids could go, cause they miss their dad. Suck.
I caught my dishwasher on fire in November. Its been pretty mad at me ever since. I don't blame him, I would hold a grudge too if I was caught on fire. Yesterday it started "spitting" at me. Water coming out all over the place, well, water and soap. I showed him who was boss and bought a shiny new pretty one. Yup, so I am now the proud owner of a new dishwasher, sitting in my garage. Turns out I don't know how to replace a dishwasher. Any takers? Pizza and beer could be involved. (or you know soda if beer is not your gig)
Tara loves playing with her new American Girl babies from Make a Wish. A few days ago as she was giving her baby her bedtime drugs (yes, she plays with her old syringes), she said "here Marina, tis is your yasix (lasix) it make you pee, tis is your nalapril (enalapril) its for your heart. MOM I need a pulse ox for Marina!" Is there any pre courses for a nursing program to put her in? Right now I think she is a shew-in.
Elijah is liking his new school. Can't say I like the $380/month payment, but I think I like the school too. Small class sizes, and barely and homework make my life much better. Still has pre-teen attitude, but much better than it was.
Jake has been doing the Xbox Kinect like no other. He is pretty good at it. He likes to challenge anyone who comes over. He picks the game, then wins....always. Its a good thing too, because he is a poor looser. We are working on that, but its so funny to hear him trash talk.
Tori plays the dance central. A 6 year old should not have moves like that. She is way to sexy to be 6. I am going to have my work cut out for her when she is older. I wonder how long it will take to built a basement to keep her locked in?
That's it. Well, that's all I can't think of at least. My coffee is now cold. And my children have officially turned my family room into a scene I have see before on Saving Private Ryan.

Whopping Cough

Its been a really hard week...really hard. Jim left Sunday, 6 days ago now. It does not get easier kissing my husband goodbye at the airport no matter how many times I do it. It still sucks. A lot. However my tears were quickly turned into super powers as by Monday night I had 2 kids sick. Tori with the stomach flu (better now), and Tara with the "unknown". Low O2 sats, fever, just funk. I knew something was brewing. By Wednesday fever still there, and a cough had come with it, my nights were getting longer. Last night was epic. Not in a good way. It was a bad night, bad like I have never had to experience at home with my sweet girl. Tears, and coughing spats that would dip her O2 into the high 70's that would last for 1/2 at least. When she would finally "break" from the spat, tears would fall, and she would ask to go to the "egg doctors" (Huntington Memorial is the egg doctors, she always asks them to make her eggs there, and they do.) I want to keep her home, I so want to keep her home, because in the day time, she is good, well better. Yesterday she was diagnosed with Whopping Cough. A vaccine prevented disease. While she has had the vaccine, she is immuno-compromised so still got it. While I have always been "pro vaccine" since Tara I have been even more. Frankly it pisses me off. Tara got whopping cough from someone who was not vaccinated. If you choose to put your child's life at danger, so be it, your choice. HOWEVER, when you then put my child's life in danger, it gets personal. So parents who choose not to vaccinate, this is for you. Until you see your child laying in the hospital fighting for their life, you may never get it. I don't necessarily want you to vaccinate for your kids, I want you to vaccinate for my child. My child who had nothing to do with your stupidity. In the long run, most likely it will never be your child who fights for their life from getting a preventable disease. Most likely it will be a immono- compormised child who did nothing to you, yet you choose to put THEIR life on the line. How dare you.
PS any anonymous comments will be deleted. You are welcome to express your opinion, but if you have one, have the guts to put your name, after all, I did.

Has it really been that long?

So much for empty promises of more blogs.... And pictures. I see there will be a lot to catch up on but for now, its a New Year. 2011 is here, and I am excited.
Yesterday at church I kept hearing over and over again, 2011 is going to be better. Goodbye 2010, hello 2011. A lot of "Amens" were said, and agreements, that they are so glad to get over 2010. Here is my thing...does that one day really make a difference? Is something going to change just because you get a new calender, or need to put 2011 on things instead of 2010? People, your life isn't going to get better just because its a new year, you are the only one that can make your life better. Weather it be January 1st or June 1st, you can be the change. To hallmark? or harsh? Sorry. Now its not to say that I am not excited to come to a new year, I am glad. 2010 was good to me. There was hard things, but every year there is always hard that goes along with that year. I can think back and remember "hards" in every year back as far as I can remember. However I choose to not look at the "hards" and look at the "goods". So for this post there will be no "2010 sucked". So here is my top 10 of 2010.
10. Tara had a lot less hospitalizations then any other year.
9. Jim and I had more date nights, and really enjoyed every one. (one of our goals this past year was to have more)
8. Jim and I had a wonderful vacation together to the Caribbean. We really enjoyed each other for a full week, with lots of memories and new friends were made.
7. We enjoyed the Caribbean so much that we took the kids back there for a family vacation.
6. Both of my sisters announced they will be having a baby! One thru her belly, one thru adoption! I love being an Aunt.
5. My internship. While its been hard, the hardest things in our life reap the greatest of rewards.
4. My friend Caz got married (which should be one all on its own! WHOOT WHOOT Caz!) and is now able to help me every Wed. with the kids. The kids love spending time with her, and I love having a few hours to get things done, and work on my Internship things. I look forward to Wednesdays.
3. We welcomed Jay to come and live with us. Gods timing is perfect. A friend who is an EMT and studying to be a paramedic needed a place to stay. I needed help with the kids since Jim was going to be gone. A week before Jim left, Jay came in. Its great having a extra set of hands anyways, but for someone with medical knowledge to come in is better. When Tara is sick he can take a shift so I can get some rest.
2. Great friends, great family. We are so incredibly blessed with the bestest of families. Our support system is so fun, and inspire and encourage us. Not only was 2010 rockin' because of them, but everyday is rockin' because of them.
1. Tara got a new make over on her room compliments of Make a Wish. They did an incredible Job, and its so much fun to see the girls play in there. She was also asked to be the Season of Wishes girl, so her segment was televised so that others could see the wonders of how awesome God is.
There was so much more God did in 2010. So hello 2011, but 2010, you were good to us, and for that Thank you.

Did you miss me? Or is it just my mom?

Sorry for the lack of posts, mom.
Well, since my mom knows why I was gone, I guess I will fill everyone else in on my little secret... I WENT TO SEE JIM! Well, its wasn't really a secret, I just didn't post about it. So I went to Qatar to see Jim and it was so nice. The kids stayed here with friends, and family which was so great. Tara did get strep throat AGAIN while I was gone (which sucked) since she has just finished her antibiotics for strep the day before I left I was really worried that she was not going to get over it and need IV antibiotics. Well she did fine, and has now finished her antibiotics again, however tonight she started running a fever again. I am not to worried yet, as its still low, and only been a few hours, most likely its viral, well, since she is 3!
Tomorrow for Thanksgiving we are going to Disneyland (provided Tara is feeling ok). It should be fun. We got passes so hopefully we go more often. This will be our second time going in a week! We celebrated with my family on Monday which was great, loved eating turkey! :)
Ok, I think that's all for now! I took some pictures of Qatar, and will share more about that soon. but for now, I am back, did you miss me?