Tara is admitted updating on carepages under taracarlson

Why I can't find my house

Well, we have had a crazy week so far!! Crazy not in a bad way, but crazy fun, and crazy bad, and just crazy hectic....Intreged...I hope so.
So this week will Start since Thursday. Since I am fairly sure I blogged on Wed....but not sure.
Thursday my older sister dropped off my niece and nephew Ty and Sarah (from my younger sister). they are the ones I watch during the week anyways, so when they got a trip to Puerto Viarta for a week they asked if I could watch them. I of course said yes, but then got my older sister to help out the first few days, as I was nice like that and let Jim recover a bit from jet lag first. When T my older sister dropped of the kids, she mentioned that Sarah had been cranky. Home sick I was thinking on the phone...after all, Lolo (her mama, my younger sister) had really only left her for 1 night before. Well, as soon as I saw Sarah, I knew it was not homesick, but rather sick sick. I took her temp, low grade, she was also banging on her ears, thinking ear infection I took her to the ped. I like to nip those things in the bud. Well, while at the doctors office Sarah was huggling me, and when the Dr. came in, he was checking her out, and she puked...on me. So there I am in the peds office, puke ALL down the front of me, a bit in my hair, and pooled on my lap...with 6 kids. 3 of them were freaking out "Sarah got puke on my shoe" 1 was freaked "ooooh, thats so grouse, I am going to puke too, it stinks" and the ped (he is not my kids doctor, but works in the same office, so he knows us well) says "well, its a virus, so expect them (pointing to the other 5 children) to get it"...awesome...then walks out, leaving me with puke down my shirt. So my momma instincts jump into play and I carefully get to the sink on the other side of the room, strip off my shirt, pants, and shoes, and place them in the sink, check my bra for chunks, wash off just a bit, wash my shoes shirt and pants out in the sink, ring them out, and put them back on. Walk out of the doctors office bidding farewell to the nurses, them saying "we will see you soon" getting strange looks from everyone as I leave with 6 kids, WET clothes, and kicking myself for wearing a white shirt that day. Walk downstairs, stop in the pharmacy to pick up Taras meds (we called to have them ready), said Hi to our favorite pharmacist John, who said "hey Kathie, looks like its one of those days huh"! I love our pharmacist. (just a little plug, its Sierra Pharmacy in Glendora and they ROCK huge! Like normally they DELIVER all our meds to our house, Taras meds get delivered every other week (normally on Fridays, but since I was there anyways on Thursday I picked them up), they include 6 lollipops, and 6 stickers (he knows I have Ty and Sarah during the week), and usually 4 sets of band aids (John knows my kids LOVE band aids, and when ever we are in there he loads us up with all the latest ones)...like I said, they ROCK!!
So we drove home, after loading 5 kids into car seats, and rolling down the windows, as I still stink. Got home, gave baths to all children, and me, made dinner, and put them all to bed. Sarah continued to puke thru the night, but by the next after noon, much better!
Friday, needless to say, we laid low! By Friday night Ty was feeling bad, and Saturday same thing, but woke up feeling great this am, so we went to church, then went to our annual church picnic after church. It was fun! Great food, lots of grass for the kids to run, giant waterslides, and lots of extra hands to help this mama out with all the children! Not to mention the ice cream, pie and all the other goodies!! (again, our church Rocks!) Tomorrow will be a day of laying low again, and trying to recover this house from the shambles its in. Maybe some laundry (as usual), parks, and playing in the back yard.
The kids found a frog tonight in our back yard. They kept it. They are really looking forward to "playing" with it again tomorrow. I hope they are not to sad when the realize that the frog ran away...with help from me...we don't need another frog. We killed the last one. Not purposely. In my defence, our dear friends The Kosjuks had just lost their precious daughter Reese, and I was heart broken about that, plus Tara was in the hospital, so very hard to be sure froggy had water while I was there....it shriveled up. Poor guy. So today Tori said "look, its froggy, he came back" I said "honey, things don't come back from heaven" "MOM, froggy didn't go to heaven, he ran away because he knew we were going to get a puppy and didn't want to be eaten, hasn't he gotten big" "oh, yes honey, thats right. I remember now, wow, he sure did get big". Yes, I lie to my children for the greater good. To spare them the heartache.
So there you have it, the last few days! I will blog more, after I can find my house....

Laundry Update.

Well, remember my post regarging sorting the kids laudry into their own laundry basket, well here we have it, before and after! (so yes, I am airing my laundry on my blog, its just not dirty, its clean) So this is JUST the kids laundry and towels after being gone for 5 days and working for Jim. Thats right folks, 5 loads here!
So Before... And after!!!

From left to right you have Elijah, Jacob, Tara, Tori, and towels and sheets. Plus a few straglers on the couch of random items that had no home in the baskets. I am really liking it, it really streamlines the process for everything. The girls baskets are both exactlly the same, as they go up to the same room, so I washed their stuff together, and I washed Elijahs stuff on its own, and Jakes stuff on its own, and the towels and sheets by them self. I really like this, if I could keep up with it (which I have up until last week) it was so easy, just wash the load, then fold and give to the kids,or bigger kids as Tara and Jake dont put their stuff away, but Tori and Elijah do...well, Elijah throws the entire basket into his room and hopes it lands in an open drawer, as all of his drawers are always open...and his room is always a mess (seriouslly post on its own), but Tori VERY neatly arranges everything just perfect, color coordinates, then carefully puts it away in the right drawer, then closes the drawer, and checks to make sure everything else in her room is put away, as with Tori everything has a place and order (like OCD style...)

So there you have it, airing my laundry on my blog! I like the process, it works for us!

John 3:17 (and rambling trying to fit 2 posts into 1)

I love when something you have read, or heard strikes you with a new accord, just as you need it. Today, it was done for me yet again. The verse John 3:16, everyone knows it...Say it with me now "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only begotten son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life". Good one. I like it, I love that my kids know that verse, as its one Christians should know. However, can anyone tell me what John 3:17 says? I tell you, I don't know if I have ever really looked at it, when referencing John 3:16 in the bible, I rarely pull it up...I know it. So today in my few minutes that I took for myself before I took my nap (because my kids gave me the best fathers day present ever by taking a 2 1/2 hour nap!) I read it, before, and after. I tell you, I have no idea why this verse is not something I have looked at or seen before, I don't know why its not written on my walls, or etched into my mirror in my bathroom. It might just be my new favorite!

John 3:17 MSG

God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.

Grace, its good. Peace, its lovely. Mercy, its enduring. Help, its lifesaving. He came to help. Never did he come to accuse me (or you) about how bad we were before we accepted him as our only hearts desire. He came to help. I like help.

This week has been a challenge to say the least. *footnote, never blog and make dinner, I just burned Mac n Cheese...it is possible* I have been busy you know with my full time job. Raising 4 children, one with special needs. *another footnote, I am getting much better as using the term special needs, before I used to be almost embarrassed, now, it rolls of my tongue, as she is special, incredibly special* (and now another footnote, that is where I saved my post on Sunday as I needed to take Tara to the ER....more on that near the end of this post.) I have also been working for Jim this past week. So with my 4 kids, I have also managed the job site (on site). Not the easiest task (however I must say, I was probably the cutest supervisor ever in my heels swinging a hammer).
With Jim gone, I needed to step up where needed, HE helped. I was able to get thru past week, not on my own, but with help, from HIM. He came to help, and put MY world right again. Jim is home now, and while I (we) am still in the trenches with work as we are trying to play catch up on this past week together (as a team, I so love it), it felt so good, to know during the last 9 days, I was not alone, that HE was there to help me, every step of the way. I worked with Jim again on Monday, and Tuesday, but by today, my kids needed me, my house needed me, the laundry definately needed me!
Today, it was good to be home, its where I belong, however, I will still do what ever it takes to help my husband, we make a good team, and while catching some late dinner yesterday (seriously like 730pm) and we were sitting across from each other, he smiled at me, thanked me for all I had done the past week, and said "I like you coming to work with me, its like we are dating again, except I get to sleep with you at the end of the night". Yup, love you to honey!
So there you have it, I am now a working mama!
This week puts me into another busy week. My sister and her husband (Chris and Lolo) got this AMAZING trip given to them, so I have my niece and nephew for the next week (Tyler and Sarah).
So onto Tara now, and why the trip to the ER. On Sunday (the day I started this post...) Tara and Tori both woke with a bit of a rash, not itchy, but a rash. Didn't think to much about it, (I worked til 12:30 am so my sister (Lolo) had the kids til then). By Sunday night, the kids were starting to get itchy, I tried some hydro cortisone, some Calmoseptine, wasn't working...I gave Tori some benadryl, it worked, stopped within half hour, Tara (because of her heart) CAN NOT have any antihistamines, so, no benadryl. She was very itchy...VERY VERY itchy, like itchy enough that she scratched herself til she was bleeding. So I called her pediatrician, maybe she had a good suggestion. She didn't...she said go to Urgent Care, she might need a steroid shot. So we took her, not open...closed early on Sunday! So I called her ped again, and she said go to the ER. Lovely. 4 hours later, after seeing the doctor, we left with an ice pack...yup, doctors advice, put ice on it. $100 for the ER visit, for the doctor to tell me to put ice on it. So frustrating. I also have to watch her "scratches" and they could be a source of infection because she has scratched it so much. Thanks. Well, the good news is, she was so exhausted, and in her footy jammies, she slept good all night. Both the girls woke up not itchy, Tori's rash was gone, Tara's was still there a bit, but mostly because she scratched it so much. So we are better. I am not sure how I feel about any of that night. Frustrated, yes. Curious, of course. Overwhelmed, a bit. I just don't understand. The ice helped a bit, at least got her to fall asleep, why was that advice not given to me over the phone to save me $100. Our ped is most likely OVER concerned over Tara (she has been with her since the beginning) and the ER doc was so Ho Hum it wasn't even funny. So like I said, not sure how to feel, but frankly didn't have time to think about it to much, as Monday I was already up and ready to pick Jim up from the airport, and start the work day with him. How do other heart mamas go about it with no benadryl? Any other suggestions?
So there we have it, 2 post in 1, so sorry that I lost most of you, but I couldn't figure out where to stop the other, and where to start the next!

Your Story, John 14:11

For Tara's 1st birthday, I handed out little candles, in a glass votive jar with the word BELIEVE on it (they were stickers, and I stuck all 150 on them...just FYI), I then tied them up with a cute little ribbon on cellophane, and put a little note card on it, with the verse John 14:11.

"Believe me when I say that I am the Father, and that the Father is in me, or at least believe in the evidence of the Miracles themselves".

I loved it. Tara is the evidence of my miracle. I already believe in the Father (You should too), but if I hadn't when Tara got sick, and stayed sick for so long, and survived, I would have had to have believed in something, based on the evidence of miracles themselves. Doctors had no "medical reason" for her to survive, she was clearly a miracle, we heard that, and still hear that, almost anytime we meet, or see any doctor. They read her chart, look up several times at her as they keep reading with their jaw on the ground, and say, "you do know she is a miracle right?" (one of the last times was at the IEP meeting last week as her case had to sent to the "medical team" for review) The nurse was just shocked, and by the time she was done reading she was in tears saying "she is extraordinary, you don't EVER see this, it doesn't happen, you must know that she has a purpose in life, she is a miracle"...yes I know (HELLO...Jeremiah 29:11 Hope and a future here! ) I didn't say that, but instead I agreed, and said "I serve a mighty God, who does miracles everyday, on that day, he choose my daughter." I don't say things like that just as a "ho-hum blah blah blah", I say those things, because Tara's story is a miracle. It deserves to be told, people should believe in the father based on the miracles themselves. Its Tara's story, and people need saved.

While singing in church on Sunday we sang one of my favorite new songs called "Story" written by Paul Stephens, and James Peak of the Movement Band (The Movement is our youth department at my church, I am soooo blessed to go to such an amazing church (The Cause) where such amazing music is coming out of, and even more blessed that Elijah is now a part of The Movement). The song goes "When they hear your story, might they be saved.." its an amazing song, I have the album blaring in my car right now, (its not available on itunes yet, or I would totally link it to here....). While singing it in church on Sunday (even though I had just heard it a few minutes ago in my car on the way to church) The Spirit put a new light on that song. When I first heard of it, I immediately put it with Tara, I mean after all, her story is incredible. However last Sunday, I realized, even I have a story, you have a story, Everyone has a story. How do you want your story to play out? How do you want your story to read? That you did a good job raising your kids? sure, that sounds nice, but instead of that story for me, I want it to read out a different way. I want my story to read, that not only did I do a good job raising my kids, but that I loved God with all my heart, I praised Him in good and bad, my story lead others to Christ, then their story lead others, I want to change a generation with my story.

Everyone has a story, when you die, how do you want it to read? If you do not know Christ, and have a personal relationship with him, you have nothing. I would love to talk to anyone who does not have a personal relationship with Christ, and tell you what he has done for me. You are the only one who can change your story. You write it, and then you die (sounds harsh when you write it like that, but its the truth). How will it read?

Qatar

Jim left for Qatar today. I already miss him! :) Please keep him in prayer for the next week plus for safety, as well as favor for our business.
Also please keep me in prayer, as I am dealing with all the kids and the things that go along with 4 kids on my own this week.
I will update more later this week. Thanks for your prayers!
Love you honey, hurry home!!

The Haps

OK, sorry for lack of posts...mom. As she is the only one complaining. So here it is.

Jim is fishing right now in the Sierras. I miss him. Hopefully he gets home Thursday...unless the fishing is really good, then Friday. Pray for no fishies... :)

Everyone is healthy!!! I know, big news! Tara is retaining some fluid, but I am fairly sure its because she has gained some weight since her last Cardiology appt, so we need to change her med doses...that's my prayer at least. I will give her an additional dose of lasix today. Just to see how that goes (yes, I can, I have permission) She has a budah belly right now. I would think it was cute if it was real...I don't think its real. Her panties roll down under her "bulge".

I am looking for a little pool for the kids for outside. Not sure which way to go. There are a lot of options. I really just want a "real pool" but am learning patience. The slip and slide is always a good option, but we just layed fresh sod...they recommend not "stressing out" your new sod. I am thinking a slip and slide might stress it out? But then again having 4 kids and a dog running on it all day seems like stress too. Or when Jacob pulled up 2 pieces of sod to "remember what it looked like before grass" seems like it could have stressed it out too. Or the fact that the other night I put on the sprinklers at 10pm, but forgot to set the timer, and when I finally went to bed at 4 am (I told you I miss Jim) finally turned them off could have stressed it out. So maybe the slip and slide is not such a bad option???

The kids L-O-V-E the new concrete we poured for them on the side. They are ALL now scooter maniacs. Even Tara. Yesterday I caught a picture (that I will not post here) of Tara riding her scooter in just her helmet. Yup, way to protect your self girl. She must be trying to get rid of her tan line from our cruise still...

Got a new coffee pot and I LOVE it....seriously love it. Its the Keurig one cup thingy? Really love it. Trying to find which coffee I like best. I think it was the first box I used, which I threw the box away, and can't remember what its called. But it was X-tra BOLD. I like bold coffee. I bought some other bold stuff, but lets just say my tummy had issues after. LOVE my coffee pot.

We had Taras assessment for her IEP. She was one ball of energy and in one of her super moods. Needless to say I am fairly sure she wont qualify for anything. I think they might have even though we were liars! :) She was chit chatty, and running like a maniac. I walked away from the meeting and told Jim, well, looks like we will be getting nothing! However they called me back because they want to re-test her on some things. They called me yesterday...Our appt is today...at 1pm. Nap time. So they will either see a sleeping girl, or a melt down. Not sure which one.

I lost my keys in my house on Sunday. LOST. I came home from church and then going to the store (with all the kids) and walked in with all of the bags, a sleeping kid on my arm, and my keys. I locked my car with them, but have not seen them since. My original thought was that perhaps I threw them away when I was clearing off the counters? Well, I dug thru the big trash that night (both of them) a bit, but really could not see much, so I waited til morning (Monday is trash day) So I put the trash cans on the curb, then on Monday before I took Elijah to school looked again for a few minutes. Did not see them again, but figured I would do a much better search when I got home from taking Elijah (he was going to be late). Well, trash was picked up while I was gone...drove up just in time to see my trash cans put into the truck. Hopefully they weren't in there. I have searched toy boxes, pantry, refrigerator, dryer, office etc. Can't find them. Sad.

I signed up Jake and Tara for a new preschool. I think its a good option. Its a Christian preschool called "Sonrise". They will go 3 half days. I like the school. They also have an elementary program, so they have a speech therapy person on sight (well, there is 2 campuses, so she goes between the 2), so I like having this option. PLUS added bonus, the teacher for the 3 year olds (which Tara will be in that class because YIKES she will be turning 3) has a daughter with a CHD. I like that, she totally "gets it". I will be working at the school 1 of those days per week to help keep the cost down. Its a private preschool, so double what we are paying now, but I think worth it in the long run.

Jim leaves for Qatar (in the Middle East, but not where there is fighting) on Sunday for 2 weeks. There is a very good possibility that this will not be his only trip there, and the 2 weeks there will most likely be a short trip. I don't want to go into it, but pray for peace, and for God to be VERY clear to both him and me. This situation is most likely why there has been a lack of posts, I am stressed to say the least.

So there you go. The Haps. Your welcome.

A different dream for my child

A few weeks back, I posted about about a Different Dream for Tara. From there, Jolene Philo the author of the book A Different Dream for my Child emailed me. She wanted talk to me, I was honored to say the least. Well, this past week the 2 part article was up on her web-site, so I wanted to put it up here so that you all could see how amazing Jolene is. Amazing.
You can read part one here: and part 2 here: now since I am so not technologically savy, I am hoping those links show up...if not let me know. They were posted on the website www.differentdream.com if all else fails!! I will write more later about our week, but this was so great that it deserved a post all of its own!!!